I see this in too many households, regardless of who the breadwinner for that family may be. It is always the wife, who is also most often the mother, who takes charge. Sometimes subtly, without the rest of the family members even noticing. At other times, dominantly that it's visible to everyone.
Whether the wife or mother, this person is a woman.
I've heard too many a time from my friends, men and women alike, about how the woman takes charge of the family. The man aka the husband makes his decision based on the wife's take. Whether or not it is he, the man who brings home the money or it is she, the woman, the wife and the mother who makes the family income. After all, a happy wife makes a happy family! So let her decide and control!
And then, at times, the unexpected happens. The woman is no longer in control, by choice or otherwise. The woman may have been called to meet her Creator. Or she has her own other challenges and issues either at the workplace, or in the home front especially her relationship with Mr. Hubs.
You suddenly see the men that have been taking a back seat, all lost and desperate. Yes, desperate. Not knowing what to do, when to do and start blaming everybody else when things don't work out. I had a brief chat with a friend who lost his wife last year, and celebrated his first Raya without her. He went back to his hometown in time for the last few days of Ramadan but totally unprepared for the Aidilfitri celebrations. He went like "Alamak, baju Raya? Where's my baju Melayu, sampin n butang baju?" *panic*
After that it was "Huh? Duit Raya? I belum tukar lagi...selalunya my Mrs. does all that"
And it doesn't stop there..."my favourite kuih semperit. Sapa nk buatkan?"
This is just one of the many other instances when the Mrs. takes charge, whether you realise it or not.
It take so much to be the woman I've been describing above. The pillar in the family. Quoting Jeff Sepah in MLM (in meaning maybe not in exact words) "memang laa ayah ketua keluarga, kepala keluarga...mak kau tu tengkok. Bila tengkok toleh kanan, kepala turut ikut toleh kanan" What a way to describe the Mrs., the mother, the woman.
The pillar that she is in holding up and holding together the institution, please always remember that this pillar is far from being the cold cement that pillars are made of.
This pillar is warm and gentle, soft and sweet. Please handle with TLC.
